I mean it

I'm so confuse. I can't accompany you all the time...
Yet i know, i'm such as a fool... And i'm useless too.
Actually i mind it. I mind why i can't accompany you, i mind why i always lock by my parents, i mind why i can't go out with you always... Seriously, do you mind it?
I know if i ask you, sure you'll answer me you won't... But please ask your heart, isn't you really don't mind?
Nowadays i'm really hard to go out... Because of...................i think you know that. I don't wanna mention anymore. I'm dead tired.
My parents don't really know me well... Fine, i don't care. And i'd cheated my parents many times. The feeling is not good. Why can't i go out with you without any lies? Cause i know if i tell the truth, my parents are not allow. So i've no choice.
Everytime going out, i'm afraid... I afraid my mom know that. Worry about everything... From the second i gone out from my house, i'm starting to get worry... But i won't show the worriness in front of you... I don't want you to worry bout me=]
I know you wish that i'm always right there beside you. But i always disappoint you... When you need me, i'm always not there. Sorry...
I admit i'm useless, i scare my parents... But i'll accompany you as much as i can.
I know nobody will understand...maybe you won't understand too... Maybe everyone thinks that this is just a lil trouble...no big deal...easy to solve. But in my opinion, this is a big deal...a huge trouble... I feel stress all the time... Why i can't live peaceful? Where is my freedom?
But for sure i'll love you always and always...never end our love*
I love you...